Where is this desk bound?

There have been no takers for the desk overnight, and we have a looming deadline of midday today in our quest to trade up from the blue pencil we originally offered to a holiday house in Tuscany or similar. This is your last chance to own this prime example of ex-local authority office furniture. Or perhaps we could just destroy it on your behalf. At this point offers both serious and stupid will be entertained.

Please email a description and photograph of the item you would like to trade to saturdayguardian@googlemail.com. We will contact you if we'd like to take you up on the trade. Please include a phone number where we can reach you. Quick as you can please. We can't hold the front page forever.